You Don't Have to Break Before You Heal
I Know What It's Like Because I Lived It
For over 30 years, I worked in healthcare. For 20 of these in neonatal intensive care – holding the tiniest, most fragile lives in my hands, supporting devastated parents, running resuscitations, making life-and-death decisions. I loved nursing and being a Nurse Practitioner. But I was also absorbing trauma, shift after shift, year after year. Because that’s how the HPA axis works – as many of you will know all too well.
In 2010, everything changed in an instant. A freak electrical accident in our home left my husband Ian unconscious. I found myself performing full CPR – alone, in our bedroom, on the man I loved – for over 20 minutes. I successfully resuscitated him, but he died days later from the brain damage.
The frontlines had come home.
I threw myself even deeper into work afterward. It was the only thing that made sense. I believed if I just kept moving, kept saving babies, kept being useful – I’d be okay.
I wasn’t okay.
By 2014, my body gave out completely. What started as dizziness and exhaustion became a full physical breakdown. Scans revealed the damage: my amygdala (the brain’s stress center) had become enlarged due to chronic overactivity, while my left prefrontal cortex had actually shrunk in response, to compensate.
This is what untreated PTSD and chronic dysregulation of the HPA (hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal) axis do to your brain and your body.
I couldn’t walk without falling. I couldn’t think clearly. I couldn’t work. Everything I’d built my identity on – gone.
But here’s what I discovered in the darkness: I didn’t have to stay broken. And more importantly, you don’t have to reach breaking point before you get help.
Born in Hell. Tested Under Fire.
Real-time stress-control techniques that work at the bedside, during trauma
To survive the breakdown, I created powerful stress-control and release techniques that work in real-time – at the bedside, whilst experiencing trauma.
Born in hell. Tested under fire.
I developed these techniques in the worst possible circumstances: lying in ICU post-op from a cardiac tamponade, with severe PTSD so relentless that every second felt like living 100 years of trauma. If these tools worked there – when I was at my most broken, most vulnerable, most desperate – they’ll surely work anywhere.
These aren’t meditation practices you do at home after your shift (though I have those too). These are tools you can use while you’re:
- Running a code
- Dealing with a difficult patient or family member
- Feeling the panic rising during a shift
- Walking into work already exhausted
- Facing your 12th hour with no break in sight
Real-time stress release. Immediate anxiety management. Tools that fit into the chaos of your day.
I developed five powerful real-time techniques that work at the bedside:
- Powerful Use of Breath – Activating your parasympathetic nervous system in 30 seconds
- Grounding to Earth – Instant reconnection when you’re spinning
- Tapping – Releasing trapped stress from your body
- Oonoombas – A tactile anchor you can use anywhere
- V-v-v-v / Th-th-th / F-f-f-f – Vagal nerve stimulation disguised as normal sounds
These aren’t complex. They’re practical, immediate, and effective. And I teach them in a way that makes them second nature.
Try This Right Now
This is the simplest yet most powerful tool I use – and I want to give it to you right now.
Here’s how it works:
As most of you know, your body has two operating systems:
- Sympathetic nervous system (fight/flight/freeze/fawn – your stress response)
- Parasympathetic nervous system (rest/digest/heal – your calm response)
Even experienced nurses who’ve mastered staying calm can find their nervous system getting stuck in fight-or-flight mode after years of accumulated stress. Your body is flooded with cortisol and adrenaline. Your heart races. Your breathing quickens. Your muscles tense. You’re ready for danger.
But here’s the secret: You can manually switch systems using your breath.
The Technique:
- Focus your inhalation breath through your left nostril. If you are not at the bedside, you can improve on this focus by placing your right finger over your right nostril (or simply turn your head slightly right)
- Inhale slowly through your LEFT nostril for at least 3 seconds (longer is better – try 4-5 seconds)
- Exhale through your mouth in a steady, controlled stream (like you’re gently blowing out a candle)
- Repeat 3 times
That’s it. 30 seconds total.
Why It Works:
Breathing through your left nostril activates the right hemisphere of your brain and signals your parasympathetic nervous system to engage. The long exhale through your mouth reinforces the “it’s safe now” message.
You’re literally telling your body: “We’re not in danger. Stand down.”
When to Use It:
- During a resuscitation (this is why not having to physically close off your nostril is so helpful)
- Before walking into a difficult patient room
- After a traumatic event on the floor
- When you feel panic rising
- In the bathroom between patients
- In your car before walking into work
- During your break (if you get one!)
This technique works in real-time, during stress, when you need it most.
Imagine having four more techniques just as powerful as this one – plus the guidance to know exactly when and how to use them. That’s what I teach.